For other uses, see Georgy Porgy
"Georgy Porgy" is a short story by Roald Dahl first published in 1960. It is included in Dahl's short story collection Kiss Kiss.
George is a vicar in a small country parish and has quite a problem with women. On one hand he is mad about them – the mere sight of a lady in high heels is enough to excite him enormously. On the other hand, he can't bear to touch them or be in close proximity to them. George doesn't understand the reason for this paradox, but Dahl gives the reader an additional insight – George's memories of his mother. She was apparently quite a free spirit and took pleasure in teaching her son the "realities" of life. He quite simply adored her.
One night, after a week's worth of discussions about sex, she took him to the garage to see their rabbit Josephine give birth. As they marvelled at the miracle of life, Josephine began to swallow her new children whole. George screamed, and as he turned to his mother her large open mouth loomed over him and he fled shrieking into the night. She chased him across a highway and was struck by a car and killed (undoubtedly this incident affected George deeply and resulted in his subconscious attraction/repulsions towards all women).
Now grown, George tries everything to elude the parish widows who constantly stalk him. They are persistent though, and George grows more and more desperate with each attempt to seduce him. Finally Miss Roach gets him drunk at a tennis party — by implication, using Pimm's — and catches him in an embrace out in the garden. He is too lightheaded to resist. As she goes to kiss him, though, he sees her large open mouth and begins to scream as she swallows him whole. He continues to narrate from his new home in her digestive system, although we the readers know that he has just simply gone mad. The padded room that he believes is located somewhere near her right kidney is actually in an asylum.
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